By reading the Helen Joyce's article ("Which is the best language to learn"), an expression called my attention. "White liars" was used to describe us, Brazilians. "Mentirosos brancos". I was shocked. After understanding the expression in English, it became evident. Even if I wanted, I wouldn't have chance to deny. The "white lie" is really part of our culture; generally we aren't practical, nor direct and most of the time we speak something just to speak, by intending only to count on easier, more favouring and/or comfortable situations.
Whoever doubts that, for sure is already lying. How many times have we met somebody and said "ah, we have to get together, drink something", "I am gonna call you" or "come to my place", even if actually it was more than clear that nothing of that sort was going to happen?! My husband - who is Swiss - was often confused, without understanding what was going on in Brazil. Where he lived, he's heard a set of ten times some of these blahblahblahs, and nothing ever happened. Very different from Switzerland: there, when someone says he's going to call you, he does; when a date or something is fixed, it really happens. Actually, without any problem those that someone want to be invited are. And something fixed for 8h, for example, is not going to take place at 9, 10h...
In fact, we know our people. The brazilian normally gets offended for very little things, he is proud. It doesn't exist in Brazil to invite someone to a party, and a friend of this person do not to be on the list. Otherwise a fight or something happens for sure. One day I had a discussion with my mother, she was lying for nothing, small things; she was not able to say "no" to others. She justified it afterward that she was just avoiding stress with people.
Ok, but what to do then? In a society where very few people are sensible, to be direct is almost impossible. Although very creative, the brazilians aren't always successful in their communications. Instead of being practical, we rather "let the life take us", which is in some way positive, but on the another side it can make things more difficult or complicated. We end up just searching for other ways. Facing requests, it's very difficult for us to deny, to say "sorry, I am not able to do it". In this case it's just easier to disappear ( by "giving a cake" in our language) or creating a "white lie". By the way, who has never framed a small lie to escape from a problem?
The thing is, as the lie, the small lie has also "short legs" (in Portuguese it's like saying "the lie cannot go so far"). As proof, the foreign writer described quite well the famous white liar. In this case, a frivolous and shameless lie that is not a big deal, just a Brazilian trait. But what could be funny and easygoing, can also worry; such a characteristic associates us with unreliable people, besides raising objections to solid friendships. Because it's a custom and unconsciously connected with our behavior, we can even believe nobody notices it. In the end, who cares if someone else sees us this way or it gets boring for us? Afterwards we can invent something to apologize, no!? ;)
Whoever doubts that, for sure is already lying. How many times have we met somebody and said "ah, we have to get together, drink something", "I am gonna call you" or "come to my place", even if actually it was more than clear that nothing of that sort was going to happen?! My husband - who is Swiss - was often confused, without understanding what was going on in Brazil. Where he lived, he's heard a set of ten times some of these blahblahblahs, and nothing ever happened. Very different from Switzerland: there, when someone says he's going to call you, he does; when a date or something is fixed, it really happens. Actually, without any problem those that someone want to be invited are. And something fixed for 8h, for example, is not going to take place at 9, 10h...
In fact, we know our people. The brazilian normally gets offended for very little things, he is proud. It doesn't exist in Brazil to invite someone to a party, and a friend of this person do not to be on the list. Otherwise a fight or something happens for sure. One day I had a discussion with my mother, she was lying for nothing, small things; she was not able to say "no" to others. She justified it afterward that she was just avoiding stress with people.
Ok, but what to do then? In a society where very few people are sensible, to be direct is almost impossible. Although very creative, the brazilians aren't always successful in their communications. Instead of being practical, we rather "let the life take us", which is in some way positive, but on the another side it can make things more difficult or complicated. We end up just searching for other ways. Facing requests, it's very difficult for us to deny, to say "sorry, I am not able to do it". In this case it's just easier to disappear ( by "giving a cake" in our language) or creating a "white lie". By the way, who has never framed a small lie to escape from a problem?
The thing is, as the lie, the small lie has also "short legs" (in Portuguese it's like saying "the lie cannot go so far"). As proof, the foreign writer described quite well the famous white liar. In this case, a frivolous and shameless lie that is not a big deal, just a Brazilian trait. But what could be funny and easygoing, can also worry; such a characteristic associates us with unreliable people, besides raising objections to solid friendships. Because it's a custom and unconsciously connected with our behavior, we can even believe nobody notices it. In the end, who cares if someone else sees us this way or it gets boring for us? Afterwards we can invent something to apologize, no!? ;)
PS. This is the first article in English at Mixculti. Please give your opinion.
PSiu! Para ler em português o mesmo texto, veja abaixo.
E para ler o texto da colunista Helen Joyce (que citou a tal "white lie"), clique no link:
http://moreintelligentlife.com/content/ideas/helen-joyce/brazilian-portuguese-best-language
E para ler o texto da colunista Helen Joyce (que citou a tal "white lie"), clique no link:
http://moreintelligentlife.com/content/ideas/helen-joyce/brazilian-portuguese-best-language
Bravo amiga,gostei de ver!!
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